Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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