I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
