You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
