And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
