We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
