So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
