watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
