I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
