I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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