the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
