is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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