He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
