Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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