Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
