And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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