I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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