I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
