Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
