I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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