how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
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