Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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