Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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