Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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