He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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