Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
