Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
