There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
