google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
