Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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