I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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