let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we're so committed to being not committed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
