Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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