oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
