The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Princesses don't give blow jobs
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
