think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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