u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
