I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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