I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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