Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Randomize
