I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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