His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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