yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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