I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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