3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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