Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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