I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
