The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
