bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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