I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
