So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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