yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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