i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
