i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
